thank you president bush

You never thought you would hear me say that did you? Well, I want to thank him for ruining the great economic growth of the Clinton area. Every little boy wants to be like his father and this one really accomplished that. War, economic crisis, failure to respond to the needs of the people, etc.

Why am I thanking him you ask? I want to send a sincere thanks for this wonderful little stimulus package and the government's prompt delivery of my $600 to my acct. And I want to thank him for giving me something to laugh about...because let's be honest this ain't going to stimulate anything. The only people who will spend this extra money are the people who already have money and don't worry about spending!

As I write this I think I am being too hard on little Dubya. I mean I will use this to help the economy by you know, buying milk, bread and gas. Wow, he really does know what he is doing right?

another sign i'm getting old...

So the other day I was watching a little Gossip Girl (and yes, watching that does add a little youth to my life.) Anyway as I watched it I found myself drooling over a particular male character. Was it one of the 'kids' on the show? Nope. I was getting turned on by the DAD. Yup, I just fell in love with Jim Walsh.

i don't even know who i am anymore...

I just took a very accurate quiz in order to find out which sex and the city character I am more like...I came out as Carrie!

Really? I've always thought of myself as a Miranda/Charlotte...

I think it was because I answered the what's most important to you question with 'being happy' and not successful career or perfect marriage.

Therapy really is messing me up!!

i really need a job...

I am now watching Rachel Ray and she is not only being funny but I am actually laughing.

AND I am contemplating WALKING to the store.

It is getting desperate...

where did you go?

How come when I had a job everyone was always around to distract me with emails? Now that I am sitting by the computer all day long with nothing to do (except for that whole finding a job thing) no one emails me?!?!?

it just ain't right people!

don't let housewives fool you

In the past several housewives/stay at home moms have tried to tell me that being home during the day doesn't really make it that much easier to run errands. Some have claimed that the traffic is just as bad, the lines just as long and that it doesn't really help to be free during the day.

I have fallen for those lies because it does seem like on my days off it did take a little longer to run errands than I thought it would...but guess what folks, they have been lying! I mean sure if you try to run your errands during the lunch time rush of 11am-2pm (as I often did when I had a day off) then yes, it does take a long time.

The truth is with a little planning it can actually be a breeze! This morning I went to Rite-Aid, Office Max, the post office (went in and delt with a real person, not just dropped things off), ran back in my house, the gas station, made a deposit at the bank AND drove around trying to find an optimal place to sit and work. Spent an eternity in line at La Baguette before finally sitting down. I left my house at 10:32am and was sitting eating and emailing by 11:45. The last time I had to make a deposit at the bank during lunch it nearly took my whole lunch hour.

All I know is that now more than ever it has become plainly obvious to me that the only way to get ahead in life--and by that I mean get all those annoying things done is to not work. Sadly, without work, there are no things to get done. No need to buy a broom if you don't have a house to sweep huh?

DISCLAIMER: When I grouped stay at home moms with the 'housewife' set I did not mean to imply that being one is easy. I do understand that kids, strollers and diaper bags do make running errands difficult, I am just saying you spend less time in line.

Also, not all stay at home moms have tried to lie to me...Natalie has always been honest about the pros of the situation.

but i resigned!, part 4 of the last 2 weeks

So about a week after I resigned I asked to come home early because I was sick and had just thrown up at work. They said ok. Then, about 2 hours later I got a voice mail saying it had been decided that I would no longer have to report to work. I did get paid for the full length of my notice period and that my possessions would be mailed to me.

You know what's funny? They never thought to ask if I had any of their belongings...I guess they thought so little of my work ethic that they never thought I would have taken work home.

I really thought about just throwing everything away, but in yet another attempt at maturity I actually organized it all, made some notes and returned them when my possessions were returned to me (more on that later.)

now its serious...

has anyone seen this?

global warming may affect the production of malting barley...which means it will affect beer!! The study only covered New Zealand and Australia but it could translate world wide.

Now, polar bears and penguins I won't lose sleep over but beer?!?!?!?

http://tech.msn.com/guides/green/articlecnet.aspx?cp-documentid=6815394&icid=tg6815394&GT1=45002

for my next job...; an addition

I will not become friends with any of my coworkers. I will not discuss anything personal. If it means I get labeled as anti-social or a bitch that is fine.

Seriously folks, after finding several good friends not to mention one of my best friends at my previous job, I made the crucial mistake of trusting those around me in this last one.

And let's be honest when push comes to shove everyone is just out for themselves!

ana earns her big girl pants, part 3 of the last 2 weeks

So the next morning I went into my bosses office and turned in my letter. To say it did not go well would be like saying we are winning the war in Iraq. Even though I resigned I got attacked. Later there were apologies.

I would like to say that I had every opportunity to go Brazilian, lose my mind and really speak my mind. I however kept my cool and was professional. When recounting the events to my friends I think it is fair to say everyone was very impressed. Several were even proud of me.

Things seem to be going well...I was actually trying my best to tie up lose ends before I left. Until...

PS. If you would like to know the details they can be purchased with for the low price of a beer and some french fries.

turns out i have some really big cojones, part 2 of the last 2 weeks

Here is the thing. On April 1st I realized I needed to quit my job. Not the whole I need to find something better bit we all go through at least once a week but a whole I need to get out right now before I either lose it or get fired. Sadly, both those were possibilities in the very immediate future.
I wanted to just walk out but Martha convinced me it was a bad idea. So I went home and had a breakdown. Then I consulted my mom, Wes and Jamie. And they all were supportive. In typical mom fashion mine said I was too good for that job anyway. Jamie told me not to worry because it wasn't like I was going to starve, she was sure one of my friends would buy me cheese dip and a margarita.
The consensus was that I was miserable and that taking control of my life was the best thing I could do for myself. So I drafted a letter of resignation and actually slept well for the first time in months!

breaking the silence, part 1 of the last 2 weeks

Well, kids I have not blogged in a while. I know you have missed me. I have to admit I have missed sharing my life with you but now I think sufficient time has passed and it is time I return. I have a lot to say, and not all of it is funny I am afraid but go ahead and indulge me as I am getting back to funny soon. I promise. Hopefully by now the fine folks at my former place of employment have stopped checking to make sure I am not talking about them, because I will now talk about them.

I have broken it up into small parts...it seems to be keeping me from saying something I shouldn't!

is this you wes?

There is a story on tvguide.com about Project Runway moving to lifetime. One guy wrote in and said he will not watch it if it goes to a chick channel (I bet he is one of the morons who will vote for McCain if Obama doesn't win.) Another guy wrote this...

I'm a guy and I watch Lifetime because they play Frasier and Golden Girls. I would never watch their insipid original movies, but, there is SOME merit to the channel. Mainly, that merit is Golden Girls.

I am pretty sure it is Wes...who agrees?

boycotts

So a lot of people want the US (or their own countries) to boycott the China Olympics due to China's oppressive treatment of Tibet. I say this is a bad idea. And here is why...

1. Boys in speedos. I only get to see swimming on tv every four years and gosh darn it I want to see basically naked hot boys.
2. We would look like hypocrites. Has anyone heard of a cute little place called 'Guantanamo'?
3. Waterpolo players. Not to mention baseball, soccer and volleyball. Oh and sailors, runners and triathltes and lots more.
4. It would only hurt us. Our athletes would not compete, and coke would not be able to make cute commercials about how Coca-Cola unites the world (which it does!)
5. Did I mention boys in speedos?

not like we need a reason but

go out and drink a beer today. Or 2. Or a lot. Today marks the 75th anniversary of beer becoming legal after prohibition. It would be un-American to do so otherwise.

thoughts for the day...

today is the first day of the rest of your life! -american proverb

now is the right time.- lotus sutra

do one thing every day that scares you.-eleanor roosevelt

leap and the net will appear. -zen saying

everything will be okay in the end. if it's not okay, it's not the end. -unknown

what were you doing in the third grade?

These kids in Georgia are plotting to attack their third grade teacher. They had weapons, assigned job duties, etc. I think they should get points for having a strategic plan don't you?

http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/04/01/kids.plot.ap/index.html

april fool's day

who came up with this stupid day?

is it saturday yet?

I had such a ridiculously long Monday that when I woke up this morning I thought it was Saturday. And then I realized it was only Tuesday.

Now, that is true despair.

the facts of life

words of wisdom from Mrs. Garrett:

"Getting drunk is not a very grown up thing to do, even when grown ups do it"