proper term

Is the term matron of honor used just for married women? Or once you reach a certain age you get to be a matron? And divorced women to they get to be matron or maid?

I have no real reason to ask these questions but I am watching Kate and Allie and y'all know how that makes me question life.

oh celine...

So I am walking in the park today and I have done one loop around and am about 1/4 of the way through a second when I decided I can't make it through anymore and am just going to walk back when celine dion's taking chances comes on my ipod. I then decided that yes I want to take a chance try to finish. And I realized I was a gay man.

Lee and Anne Marie

That is the couple on the eharmony commercial. You know the guy who is uptight and the girl who is laid back? Anne Marie allows Lee to be who he is?

I hate them.

brain atrophy...

As my grandmother has gotten older my mom and aunts have tried to ward off the inevitable deteoration of her memory by keeping her constantly busy going to classes such as art therapy as well as doing certain memory excersises at home. This is the sort of thing you expect will happen to you at 80+ but the sad truth is, its happening to me at 29. Maybe it is the fact that I haven't worked in a while but I think I am losing it.

I am not even going to tell you guys how I had to pull out my calculator to do some math while at the grocery store...I will say that the first grader that eats paste could do it. I will tell you about how last week I went to the Kroger and bought some shredded cheese. I got home and wanted to make a quesadilla. No problem right? Well, there was a problem. I could not get the package open for a good 5 minutes. When I did I had ripped the package in a way that could not be resealed...

I also recently purchased a new soap for my bathroom. Target did not have the big container for me to refill my current soap dispenser in a kind I liked so I got a small Dial foaming one. Well, every single damn time I try to wash my hands I can't seem to get the pump to work. After fiddling it with for a few seconds either myself or my bathroom get sprayed...but of course not my hands. Of course I never remember to cover the nozzle...

I think it is time someone starts taking me to classes and helping me with every day life...

confession of the day

tori spelling

One of my best friends from college, the great Katie Bauer used to make herself feel better after a hard day with the following phrase: 'at least I'm not Tori Spelling.' I have to say I spent years agreeing with Katie. Sure, sometimes I exchanged Tori for Britney, Paris or Nicole but still Tori was a prime example of how my life wasn't so bad.

Then a funny thing happened...I started to watch Tori and Dean: Inn Love on WE. And my heart melted a little. This season I am hooked on Tori and Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood. And now, I spend my time wishing I was her. Sure she got robbed of millions by her own mother and her brother does not seem to speak to her, but she has got a loving husband (that she stole from another woman while being married herself), a cute kid, a best selling book, her own jewelry line AND a drag queen who uses her name and look as inspiration!

If that is not living the american dream, I don't know what is!

30 rock

So I totally get that I am 2 years behind but this is the funniest show on tv. And I am one of those people who LIVES for the office. I had it on in the background while I wrote cover letters the other day in a coffee shop and people were starring as I tried to keep from cracking up!

Season 1 is available to watch instantly on netflix and season 2 is nbc.com. Forget work, do yourself a favor and watch it NOW.

Alec Baldwin was actually born to play his role. Kenneth is that special kid from elementary school you have always wanted to see as an adult. The whole cast is amazing and you will find yourself quoting it non-stop. And then there is wonder that is Tina Fey...to say I have a girl crush on her would be insulting for the new obsession I am developing. I actually have so much to say I will have to do a whole post on her alone...

i've been busy living my life...

I apologize if my lack of posts has caused you to be bored at work. It was very silly of me to ignore your needs while looking for a way to pay the bills...silly, silly me.

let's catch up

To catch everyone up...nothing has changed. Except that as I navigate the world of unemployment I have never been happier! It turns out I really miss having a reliable paycheck but I do not miss getting up in the morning to fake my way through yet another day. Now, I am not advocating getting up right now and quitting your jobs but I certainly will teach you how to live on a limited budget...I make racheal ray and her 40 dollars seem like posh spice on a shopping spree!

don't forget to look over at the features on the right hand side...

I have added a hangover to the top of 2008...which also has made it in my top 3 of all times. Though in my defense the alcohol only made the heat exhaustion worse so my natty light drinking is not the main culprit!

Also don't forget to vote!

the first 48

For those who have not seen it 'the first 48' is an A&E show that follows detectives in the first critical 48 hours after a murder. They have filmed in several cities including Miami and Memphis.

The other day I watched an episode filmed in Memphis. The detectives were tracking down a suspect for most of the day when they received a call of where he is hiding. Do they immediately jump into action? Nope. The woman in charge of the case instead takes out her make up case and freshens up. Then she uses a curling iron to get her hair did. She tells us viewers at home that she needs to look good when she is out on the field. She says that and I would like to quote her at this point she needs to 'represent.'

There are some really important lessons here kids...if you want to murder someone do it in Memphis it will give you an extra few minutes to escape. If are getting murdered don't let it happen in Memphis. There is a good chance the murderer will escape because the lead detective has to go back to 201 to turn off her curling iron.

rifle

So I am reading on sportsillustraded.com about all the ncaa championships this year and the schools that won them...Besides the common sports (like football, basketball, baseball/softball, tennis, etc) there are the 'second tier' sports like lacrosse, water polo and such. Then there are random ones that if you didn't grow up in certain parts of the country you would never think of like rowing and skiing. Then I came across rifle...now I see shooting events in the Olympics so I am not sure why I was so surprised.

The U of Alaska-Fairbanks won this year's event...why am I telling you this? Because in second place came...Army. Somehow that does not inspire confidence in me...


PS. I love and support the troops. Please do not turn me over to Fox news as unamerican...I don't have time for that!