i could not make this up if i tried...

I think I am going to give up on email. This is an actual email I got this morning...

Subject: Find That Special Someone Even If You Are Over 30.

Unfortunately I can't figure out how to post the whole email w/ the adorable picure of a couple w/ the Brooklyn Bridge or something behind them looking in love.

PS and by the way...I still have about 100 days till I turn 30 so I still have a chance to meet someone right?

i blame my family...

Usually I try very hard not to blame my family for much that may be 'wrong' in my life or for any of my craziness but this has got to be their fault...

This morning as I innocently check my email I find one inviting me to a restaurant for 'Dia dos Namorados.' For those of you that are non-Portuguese speaking that is the equivalent of 'Valentine's Day.' Upon further reading the ad I saw that it is a restaurant whose 3 locations just happen to be in my home town.

Now I don't know, but somehow they have gotten my email address and I can only guess it came from some sort of family member. Because you know, I need to be reminded that I am alone for 2 of these 'holidays' like well, a fat kid needs cake!

18 is more than 17

That is the math lesson Hilary taught us yesterday. So she doesn't have the delegates but I am glad she conceded that fact not the race. I for one hopes she takes her time collecting her toys before she goes home for good.

There is a lot of time between now and the delegates officially speaking in Denver. And these are the Clinton's afterall so anything can happen...

gotta love the homeland!

Jail in Brazil seems to be better than my life in the good old US of A. Seriously making me consider a move back to the homeland and a life of crime ;)

Inmate had $170,000, guns, TV, fridge in cell
Officials in Brazil turned up the loot during a jail cell raid

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24956708/?GT1=43001

the dream is over...

Hillary is going to concede that Obama has enough delegates at some point today. The disappointment is greater than I imagined. The writing has been on the wall for a long time but I for one refused to really see it.

My first angry tyrant reaction is to claim I will not support Obama but we all know that is not the way to go. It is time for all of us democrats, liberals, and smart people with common sense to unite for the common good of the country.

Is it weird that I feel like I should have done more to help her? I think I have read one too many inspirational quotes or something...

the end of the world

Clay Aiken is going to be a dad. No fear though, Clay Aiken isn't out getting himself some while we sit at home alone...

From msn.com "According to TMZ, the mother is Jaymes Foster, 50, who is Aiken's record producer and the crooner's close friend. TMZ reports she was artificially inseminated and is due in August."

Living Lohan

So LiLo's sister AlLo claims that she wants to be just like her sister. Lindsay is her role model and she wants to be just like her. I wonder if she means 'The Parent Trap" Lindsay or the rehab before 21 Lindsay?

Ah who am I kidding...I had great role models and look how I turned out! Ali will be fine...

In the meantime I highly recommend 'Living Lohan' and 'Denise Richards: It's Complicated' as great summer guilty pleasures. And for the record...its not that complicated!

would it be rude...

to tell the three people sitting at the table next to me that their conversation is inane? And to let the would be slacker/philosopher in the bunch know that he in fact does not have to yell to get his point across?

Topics covered so far: baseball, cancer, pastries, medicare, back to baseball and now on to golf.

Slacker/Philosopher has trouble with golf. He loves to play but has trouble focusing and hitting the same shot consistently.

Crap. Its the make version of me.

we now don't interupt your regular programing...

How come the tv stations never interupt programing to report on the weather when you actually want to know what is going on with the thunder so loud it shakes your house? Yet, they are quick to preempt oh lets say the finale of the Amazing Race because of a thunder storm so 'dangerous' you and your friends were out and about during it?

PS. The Amazing Race story is true. Just ask Natalie about it...

i am officially too old...

Forgive me if I have blogged about this topic before...A couple of weeks ago I thought about blogging about this but can't remember if I did or not and frankly I am too lazy to look through old posts to see if I did or not.

Anyways, I think I have officially crossed some sort of age defining line. As I sit and watch the guilty pleasure that is Gossip Girl I came to the following conclusion. Dan's dad is way hotter than Dan. In fact he is hotter than all the teenage boys on the show. Basically, I would take him (and Chuck's dad) before I take Dan, Chuck and Nate. Truth be told, I find Serena's mom more attractive then all the girls too.

Man I miss the good old days of 90210 when Cindy and Jim were no match for the gang!

on purses, posh spice, absurd prices, and even more absurd income

Lately I have not been much of a purse carrier. In fact more often or thank not I leave the house w/ my just my wallet in my back pocket. This has given my friends plenty to joke about. Turns out straight girls are in fact obligated to carry purses with them at all times.

The truth is, I love me some purses. I just do not have any purses right now that I really love. My current purse related obsession is finding the perfect black clutch. And as Meg can attest from our recent trip to Target this is an issue I am 'slightly' passionate about.

So today I decided to do some investigative work on clutches to see which designer knock-off I need to be looking for. For the record it is a Hermes Baccara Crocodile Clutch (in green!) I saw Posh Spice with one and fell in love. Love and envy.

Also, in my research I found out that she alledgedly owns over 100 Hermes bags. ONE HUNDRED. That is about 2 million dollars worth of Hermes handbags. And I hate her. In the good old days (read when money wasn't an issue) I had the pleasure of on a couple of occasions worshiping at the Hermes store in NYC and let me tell you, as a 10 year old it rivaled FAO Schwartz for its magical allure.

Now, for the real reason I started yapping about purses to begin with...in my research I found this website 'www.designerpursesoutlet.com' and while looking for bags I came across this little item: 'Rare Hermes Crocodile Handbag Alligator Purse' (green of course) and it is a thing of beauty! And then I saw the price tag of $28,448.00. Yes, that is 28 THOUSAND dollars. Which is more than I made in my first job. And that is just ridiculous (both the price of the bag and how little money I made.)

To put how the price of the bag look at this figures for income in Memphis:

Median for all workers
$22,611
Median for all male full-time
$34,306
Median for all female full-time
$30,477

And that means we will never be able to afford one...maybe one will be part of my inheratance? Then we will really see how timeless they are...

cnn.com

Has anyone seen on cnn.com that you can now buy t-shirts w/ some of their headlines on it? The whole thing is a little bizarre because sometimes the headlines they choose are not that funny. Plus I have a feeling that by the time you get the t-shirt delivered the topical nature of the quote you have selected has long become irrelevant.

Until now...kids, if only I had a job. Because if I did, you would all be getting this one. I have not actually watched the video for the report but a study in the UK has found what we already know...

'1 in 3 workers hung over at the office'

I have to say I am very proud of often being that 1 in 3! For some of you, and you know who you are, the figure for that particular office is more like 3 in 3.

http://www.cnn.com/tshirt/index.html?hash=766b80f0369f1116b255fdb29626678c&return_uri=http://www.cnn.com/video/%23/video/business/2008/05/13/boulden.uk.hungover.workers.cnn&session_id=

an update

Just wanted to post a little update on where I am right now...the memphis public library. But I guess you are more curious as to what I am doing with my life...

I am still unemployed but applying to lots of things I am probably not qualified to do, and some that I actually not only am qualified but would enjoy doing.

I have been enjoying the no work thing but I have to admit it is getting a little old.

This Wednesday marks the 4 week anniversary of what would have been my last day and so this week the is the beginning of the whole search for ANY job...so if the next time you see me I am asking you if you want fries with that, please don't laugh and I'll supersize it for you.

If anyone knows of any jobs available (or see any help wanted signs) please let me know. Contrary to popular belief I am actually a pretty hard worker, way smarter than I seem and pretty much willing to sacrifice my dignity for a paycheck.

Finally, on a serious note...I just want to thank everyone for their support and well wishes during this time. Once I have a job a round of drinks is on me!

newest platform for a better memphis (can be adapted to your own city)

In this world where everyone carries a laptop and wifi is available nearly everywhere you go (Even at McDonald's and Krystal!) I think there needs to be more available electrical outlets, including outdoors.

I am not ready to go home yet, but my computer is running out of power. Of course at LaBaguette there are only 3 tables with easy access to an outlet; 2 are occupied and 2 are very wobbly.

And so now I am at a crossroads...do I sit at the wobbly table for a bit? Do I venture back into the library? Do I go home? Do I risk going somewhere else where they may or may not have plugs?

Oh, and I totally get that I need to find a job real quick if this is what is stressing me!

ah the public library...

So this morning I decided to go to the public library to do a little work on looking for work...I pull up to a parking space and there is a car about one space over with a man sitting in it (we have an empty space between us.

I listening to something on the radio so I didn't immediately get out of my car. He seemed to be doing the same. Then a car pulls up in between us. A man get out and into the the car that was already there. About 2-3 minutes later the guy gets out and back into his car and drives off.

I go into the library but leave after about 15 minutes (more on that later.) The guy is still sitting there parked in the same spot with a different guy in the car. By the time I get in my car and start it the other guy gets out and into his own car.

The time they were in the car seems too short for sex and arranging a hit so I have to go drug sales.

Really? In the parking lot of the library? Why am I even surprised? And furthermore, why was I relieved by the fact he was doing his business during school hours?

And the people of Memphis were worried about 'workers of the world unite' being one of the quotes outside the library!

thank you president bush

You never thought you would hear me say that did you? Well, I want to thank him for ruining the great economic growth of the Clinton area. Every little boy wants to be like his father and this one really accomplished that. War, economic crisis, failure to respond to the needs of the people, etc.

Why am I thanking him you ask? I want to send a sincere thanks for this wonderful little stimulus package and the government's prompt delivery of my $600 to my acct. And I want to thank him for giving me something to laugh about...because let's be honest this ain't going to stimulate anything. The only people who will spend this extra money are the people who already have money and don't worry about spending!

As I write this I think I am being too hard on little Dubya. I mean I will use this to help the economy by you know, buying milk, bread and gas. Wow, he really does know what he is doing right?

another sign i'm getting old...

So the other day I was watching a little Gossip Girl (and yes, watching that does add a little youth to my life.) Anyway as I watched it I found myself drooling over a particular male character. Was it one of the 'kids' on the show? Nope. I was getting turned on by the DAD. Yup, I just fell in love with Jim Walsh.

i don't even know who i am anymore...

I just took a very accurate quiz in order to find out which sex and the city character I am more like...I came out as Carrie!

Really? I've always thought of myself as a Miranda/Charlotte...

I think it was because I answered the what's most important to you question with 'being happy' and not successful career or perfect marriage.

Therapy really is messing me up!!

i really need a job...

I am now watching Rachel Ray and she is not only being funny but I am actually laughing.

AND I am contemplating WALKING to the store.

It is getting desperate...

where did you go?

How come when I had a job everyone was always around to distract me with emails? Now that I am sitting by the computer all day long with nothing to do (except for that whole finding a job thing) no one emails me?!?!?

it just ain't right people!