the end of the world

Clay Aiken is going to be a dad. No fear though, Clay Aiken isn't out getting himself some while we sit at home alone...

From msn.com "According to TMZ, the mother is Jaymes Foster, 50, who is Aiken's record producer and the crooner's close friend. TMZ reports she was artificially inseminated and is due in August."

Living Lohan

So LiLo's sister AlLo claims that she wants to be just like her sister. Lindsay is her role model and she wants to be just like her. I wonder if she means 'The Parent Trap" Lindsay or the rehab before 21 Lindsay?

Ah who am I kidding...I had great role models and look how I turned out! Ali will be fine...

In the meantime I highly recommend 'Living Lohan' and 'Denise Richards: It's Complicated' as great summer guilty pleasures. And for the record...its not that complicated!

would it be rude...

to tell the three people sitting at the table next to me that their conversation is inane? And to let the would be slacker/philosopher in the bunch know that he in fact does not have to yell to get his point across?

Topics covered so far: baseball, cancer, pastries, medicare, back to baseball and now on to golf.

Slacker/Philosopher has trouble with golf. He loves to play but has trouble focusing and hitting the same shot consistently.

Crap. Its the make version of me.

we now don't interupt your regular programing...

How come the tv stations never interupt programing to report on the weather when you actually want to know what is going on with the thunder so loud it shakes your house? Yet, they are quick to preempt oh lets say the finale of the Amazing Race because of a thunder storm so 'dangerous' you and your friends were out and about during it?

PS. The Amazing Race story is true. Just ask Natalie about it...

i am officially too old...

Forgive me if I have blogged about this topic before...A couple of weeks ago I thought about blogging about this but can't remember if I did or not and frankly I am too lazy to look through old posts to see if I did or not.

Anyways, I think I have officially crossed some sort of age defining line. As I sit and watch the guilty pleasure that is Gossip Girl I came to the following conclusion. Dan's dad is way hotter than Dan. In fact he is hotter than all the teenage boys on the show. Basically, I would take him (and Chuck's dad) before I take Dan, Chuck and Nate. Truth be told, I find Serena's mom more attractive then all the girls too.

Man I miss the good old days of 90210 when Cindy and Jim were no match for the gang!

on purses, posh spice, absurd prices, and even more absurd income

Lately I have not been much of a purse carrier. In fact more often or thank not I leave the house w/ my just my wallet in my back pocket. This has given my friends plenty to joke about. Turns out straight girls are in fact obligated to carry purses with them at all times.

The truth is, I love me some purses. I just do not have any purses right now that I really love. My current purse related obsession is finding the perfect black clutch. And as Meg can attest from our recent trip to Target this is an issue I am 'slightly' passionate about.

So today I decided to do some investigative work on clutches to see which designer knock-off I need to be looking for. For the record it is a Hermes Baccara Crocodile Clutch (in green!) I saw Posh Spice with one and fell in love. Love and envy.

Also, in my research I found out that she alledgedly owns over 100 Hermes bags. ONE HUNDRED. That is about 2 million dollars worth of Hermes handbags. And I hate her. In the good old days (read when money wasn't an issue) I had the pleasure of on a couple of occasions worshiping at the Hermes store in NYC and let me tell you, as a 10 year old it rivaled FAO Schwartz for its magical allure.

Now, for the real reason I started yapping about purses to begin with...in my research I found this website 'www.designerpursesoutlet.com' and while looking for bags I came across this little item: 'Rare Hermes Crocodile Handbag Alligator Purse' (green of course) and it is a thing of beauty! And then I saw the price tag of $28,448.00. Yes, that is 28 THOUSAND dollars. Which is more than I made in my first job. And that is just ridiculous (both the price of the bag and how little money I made.)

To put how the price of the bag look at this figures for income in Memphis:

Median for all workers
$22,611
Median for all male full-time
$34,306
Median for all female full-time
$30,477

And that means we will never be able to afford one...maybe one will be part of my inheratance? Then we will really see how timeless they are...

cnn.com

Has anyone seen on cnn.com that you can now buy t-shirts w/ some of their headlines on it? The whole thing is a little bizarre because sometimes the headlines they choose are not that funny. Plus I have a feeling that by the time you get the t-shirt delivered the topical nature of the quote you have selected has long become irrelevant.

Until now...kids, if only I had a job. Because if I did, you would all be getting this one. I have not actually watched the video for the report but a study in the UK has found what we already know...

'1 in 3 workers hung over at the office'

I have to say I am very proud of often being that 1 in 3! For some of you, and you know who you are, the figure for that particular office is more like 3 in 3.

http://www.cnn.com/tshirt/index.html?hash=766b80f0369f1116b255fdb29626678c&return_uri=http://www.cnn.com/video/%23/video/business/2008/05/13/boulden.uk.hungover.workers.cnn&session_id=

an update

Just wanted to post a little update on where I am right now...the memphis public library. But I guess you are more curious as to what I am doing with my life...

I am still unemployed but applying to lots of things I am probably not qualified to do, and some that I actually not only am qualified but would enjoy doing.

I have been enjoying the no work thing but I have to admit it is getting a little old.

This Wednesday marks the 4 week anniversary of what would have been my last day and so this week the is the beginning of the whole search for ANY job...so if the next time you see me I am asking you if you want fries with that, please don't laugh and I'll supersize it for you.

If anyone knows of any jobs available (or see any help wanted signs) please let me know. Contrary to popular belief I am actually a pretty hard worker, way smarter than I seem and pretty much willing to sacrifice my dignity for a paycheck.

Finally, on a serious note...I just want to thank everyone for their support and well wishes during this time. Once I have a job a round of drinks is on me!

newest platform for a better memphis (can be adapted to your own city)

In this world where everyone carries a laptop and wifi is available nearly everywhere you go (Even at McDonald's and Krystal!) I think there needs to be more available electrical outlets, including outdoors.

I am not ready to go home yet, but my computer is running out of power. Of course at LaBaguette there are only 3 tables with easy access to an outlet; 2 are occupied and 2 are very wobbly.

And so now I am at a crossroads...do I sit at the wobbly table for a bit? Do I venture back into the library? Do I go home? Do I risk going somewhere else where they may or may not have plugs?

Oh, and I totally get that I need to find a job real quick if this is what is stressing me!

ah the public library...

So this morning I decided to go to the public library to do a little work on looking for work...I pull up to a parking space and there is a car about one space over with a man sitting in it (we have an empty space between us.

I listening to something on the radio so I didn't immediately get out of my car. He seemed to be doing the same. Then a car pulls up in between us. A man get out and into the the car that was already there. About 2-3 minutes later the guy gets out and back into his car and drives off.

I go into the library but leave after about 15 minutes (more on that later.) The guy is still sitting there parked in the same spot with a different guy in the car. By the time I get in my car and start it the other guy gets out and into his own car.

The time they were in the car seems too short for sex and arranging a hit so I have to go drug sales.

Really? In the parking lot of the library? Why am I even surprised? And furthermore, why was I relieved by the fact he was doing his business during school hours?

And the people of Memphis were worried about 'workers of the world unite' being one of the quotes outside the library!

thank you president bush

You never thought you would hear me say that did you? Well, I want to thank him for ruining the great economic growth of the Clinton area. Every little boy wants to be like his father and this one really accomplished that. War, economic crisis, failure to respond to the needs of the people, etc.

Why am I thanking him you ask? I want to send a sincere thanks for this wonderful little stimulus package and the government's prompt delivery of my $600 to my acct. And I want to thank him for giving me something to laugh about...because let's be honest this ain't going to stimulate anything. The only people who will spend this extra money are the people who already have money and don't worry about spending!

As I write this I think I am being too hard on little Dubya. I mean I will use this to help the economy by you know, buying milk, bread and gas. Wow, he really does know what he is doing right?

another sign i'm getting old...

So the other day I was watching a little Gossip Girl (and yes, watching that does add a little youth to my life.) Anyway as I watched it I found myself drooling over a particular male character. Was it one of the 'kids' on the show? Nope. I was getting turned on by the DAD. Yup, I just fell in love with Jim Walsh.

i don't even know who i am anymore...

I just took a very accurate quiz in order to find out which sex and the city character I am more like...I came out as Carrie!

Really? I've always thought of myself as a Miranda/Charlotte...

I think it was because I answered the what's most important to you question with 'being happy' and not successful career or perfect marriage.

Therapy really is messing me up!!

i really need a job...

I am now watching Rachel Ray and she is not only being funny but I am actually laughing.

AND I am contemplating WALKING to the store.

It is getting desperate...

where did you go?

How come when I had a job everyone was always around to distract me with emails? Now that I am sitting by the computer all day long with nothing to do (except for that whole finding a job thing) no one emails me?!?!?

it just ain't right people!

don't let housewives fool you

In the past several housewives/stay at home moms have tried to tell me that being home during the day doesn't really make it that much easier to run errands. Some have claimed that the traffic is just as bad, the lines just as long and that it doesn't really help to be free during the day.

I have fallen for those lies because it does seem like on my days off it did take a little longer to run errands than I thought it would...but guess what folks, they have been lying! I mean sure if you try to run your errands during the lunch time rush of 11am-2pm (as I often did when I had a day off) then yes, it does take a long time.

The truth is with a little planning it can actually be a breeze! This morning I went to Rite-Aid, Office Max, the post office (went in and delt with a real person, not just dropped things off), ran back in my house, the gas station, made a deposit at the bank AND drove around trying to find an optimal place to sit and work. Spent an eternity in line at La Baguette before finally sitting down. I left my house at 10:32am and was sitting eating and emailing by 11:45. The last time I had to make a deposit at the bank during lunch it nearly took my whole lunch hour.

All I know is that now more than ever it has become plainly obvious to me that the only way to get ahead in life--and by that I mean get all those annoying things done is to not work. Sadly, without work, there are no things to get done. No need to buy a broom if you don't have a house to sweep huh?

DISCLAIMER: When I grouped stay at home moms with the 'housewife' set I did not mean to imply that being one is easy. I do understand that kids, strollers and diaper bags do make running errands difficult, I am just saying you spend less time in line.

Also, not all stay at home moms have tried to lie to me...Natalie has always been honest about the pros of the situation.

but i resigned!, part 4 of the last 2 weeks

So about a week after I resigned I asked to come home early because I was sick and had just thrown up at work. They said ok. Then, about 2 hours later I got a voice mail saying it had been decided that I would no longer have to report to work. I did get paid for the full length of my notice period and that my possessions would be mailed to me.

You know what's funny? They never thought to ask if I had any of their belongings...I guess they thought so little of my work ethic that they never thought I would have taken work home.

I really thought about just throwing everything away, but in yet another attempt at maturity I actually organized it all, made some notes and returned them when my possessions were returned to me (more on that later.)

now its serious...

has anyone seen this?

global warming may affect the production of malting barley...which means it will affect beer!! The study only covered New Zealand and Australia but it could translate world wide.

Now, polar bears and penguins I won't lose sleep over but beer?!?!?!?

http://tech.msn.com/guides/green/articlecnet.aspx?cp-documentid=6815394&icid=tg6815394&GT1=45002

for my next job...; an addition

I will not become friends with any of my coworkers. I will not discuss anything personal. If it means I get labeled as anti-social or a bitch that is fine.

Seriously folks, after finding several good friends not to mention one of my best friends at my previous job, I made the crucial mistake of trusting those around me in this last one.

And let's be honest when push comes to shove everyone is just out for themselves!

ana earns her big girl pants, part 3 of the last 2 weeks

So the next morning I went into my bosses office and turned in my letter. To say it did not go well would be like saying we are winning the war in Iraq. Even though I resigned I got attacked. Later there were apologies.

I would like to say that I had every opportunity to go Brazilian, lose my mind and really speak my mind. I however kept my cool and was professional. When recounting the events to my friends I think it is fair to say everyone was very impressed. Several were even proud of me.

Things seem to be going well...I was actually trying my best to tie up lose ends before I left. Until...

PS. If you would like to know the details they can be purchased with for the low price of a beer and some french fries.