how could you do this to me tori spelling?!?

So I have been the number one defender of Tori and Dean. And now they do this...

In last night's episode they are going on some vacation and Tori is worried that Dean is not thinking about what to pack. He responds to her by saying that if he forgets something its not like we are going to the third world or something like that. WTF??

Just so you guys know, if you go to the third world and forget something, we have it. We wear clothes and shoes, we use toothbrushes, we actually have pretty good hygene so all is good. Go ahead and half ass pack because we have it.

think you are getting screwed by the airlines?

Think again. I am a faithful baggage checker because I don't like to limit my beauty products when I travel. So I haven't worried too much about the latest restrictions/fees on checked luggage because I don't fly that often but imagine if you are a soldier having to catch a commercial flight in order to report for duty so that you can oh I don't know go fight in a WAR. Well, airlines are charging soldiers for extra luggage as they carry their boots and other military needs.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/TRAVEL/08/13/troops.baggage/index.html

Should we tell the airlines these are the same soldiers that are puting their lives on the line so they can have fuel for their planes?

college transcript, part II

So if you are wondering why I did so well in human sexuality but can't get any...I think the D in Chemistry explains it perfectly.

my college transcripts explains it all...

Loyola is one of those schools with a common curriculum so I had to take a whole lot of classes that lowered my GPA and have not helped me at all in life (not that the political science ones have helped either!)

Making Moral Decisions was one of those basic philosophy classes that they offered about 100 sessions of each semester. In looking at my transcripts I just noticed I tried to take it my fall of my junior year but withdrew. In the spring of my senior year I took it again and got C+.

Now tell me doesn't that one fact about me explain it all? From now on, whenever someone asks me to tell them a little about myself I will start with 'I got a C+ in Making Moral Decisions, that is all you need to know.'

If pressed further I will let them know I don't know much about Economics and Society (a D), but no fear I have human sexuality (an A) figured out. I also don't know much about music history esp. classical (World of Music C+) but have the rest of popular culture figured out (Sociology of Popular Culture, a B+.)


PS. You want to know how I did so well in Human Sexuality and Pop Culture? All due to my final projects...masturbation and 90120. I only wish I was kidding.

when in doubt claim racism...

That is the lesson I have learned from my nearly 7 years in Memphis (well that and that people really need to get over Elvis.)

Exhibit # 1,785,396,240 An African America candidate has compared to KKK members/accused of racism a Jewish candidate. All because he would not support a cause that our own quick to jump to racism AA mayor would support either. Now had this guy been a WASP I could maybe see it; a low blow but I could see her trying to get away with it out of desperation. It just seems a bit dangerous to challenge a Jew to a fight over discrimination, injustice and prejudice.

But hey, what do I know...all I care about is who will take care of the brown people :)

being poor sucks

reason # 347 You start to hate the people in the grocery store who can afford fresh fruit and produce. Even though when you had 'all the money in the world' you never really bought any.



*disclaimer: I realize I am far from actually being poor...

a favor of all mothers

I would like to ask a favor of mothers...for the love of God please do not bring your children (particularly if they do not know how to behave and you have no idea how to discipline them) to the grocery store in between the hours of 4:30pm and 6:30pm. Some of us have had hard days at work, trying to find work or in my case today applying for the local community college ( I am not kidding) to deal with your children.

Should you have no option but to bring your brats with you here is a word of advice...just let them run wild. Let them scream, fight, clog the aisles, throw food around. Because worse than watching/dealing with your brats is having to listen to you scream at them to no avail.

Should your kids misbehave and you act like you don't notice I will just look down on your parenting skills. Should your kids misbehave and you unsucessufully try to control them I will write blogs about you.

jewel

I remember listening to Jewel in high school (to be precise in Virginia Benitez's kitchen while baking xmas cookies) and thinking she understood my pain. Now she is just causing me pain. Let's just say that watching her pretend to be country and from Texas on Nashville Star is worse than watching Paula trying to be relevant and coherent on Idol.

And yes, I am well aware that by telling you I am sitting around watching Nashville Star has probably caused you much pain. Unlike Jewel I am willing to admit I am sort of a loser.

proper term

Is the term matron of honor used just for married women? Or once you reach a certain age you get to be a matron? And divorced women to they get to be matron or maid?

I have no real reason to ask these questions but I am watching Kate and Allie and y'all know how that makes me question life.

oh celine...

So I am walking in the park today and I have done one loop around and am about 1/4 of the way through a second when I decided I can't make it through anymore and am just going to walk back when celine dion's taking chances comes on my ipod. I then decided that yes I want to take a chance try to finish. And I realized I was a gay man.

Lee and Anne Marie

That is the couple on the eharmony commercial. You know the guy who is uptight and the girl who is laid back? Anne Marie allows Lee to be who he is?

I hate them.

brain atrophy...

As my grandmother has gotten older my mom and aunts have tried to ward off the inevitable deteoration of her memory by keeping her constantly busy going to classes such as art therapy as well as doing certain memory excersises at home. This is the sort of thing you expect will happen to you at 80+ but the sad truth is, its happening to me at 29. Maybe it is the fact that I haven't worked in a while but I think I am losing it.

I am not even going to tell you guys how I had to pull out my calculator to do some math while at the grocery store...I will say that the first grader that eats paste could do it. I will tell you about how last week I went to the Kroger and bought some shredded cheese. I got home and wanted to make a quesadilla. No problem right? Well, there was a problem. I could not get the package open for a good 5 minutes. When I did I had ripped the package in a way that could not be resealed...

I also recently purchased a new soap for my bathroom. Target did not have the big container for me to refill my current soap dispenser in a kind I liked so I got a small Dial foaming one. Well, every single damn time I try to wash my hands I can't seem to get the pump to work. After fiddling it with for a few seconds either myself or my bathroom get sprayed...but of course not my hands. Of course I never remember to cover the nozzle...

I think it is time someone starts taking me to classes and helping me with every day life...

confession of the day

tori spelling

One of my best friends from college, the great Katie Bauer used to make herself feel better after a hard day with the following phrase: 'at least I'm not Tori Spelling.' I have to say I spent years agreeing with Katie. Sure, sometimes I exchanged Tori for Britney, Paris or Nicole but still Tori was a prime example of how my life wasn't so bad.

Then a funny thing happened...I started to watch Tori and Dean: Inn Love on WE. And my heart melted a little. This season I am hooked on Tori and Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood. And now, I spend my time wishing I was her. Sure she got robbed of millions by her own mother and her brother does not seem to speak to her, but she has got a loving husband (that she stole from another woman while being married herself), a cute kid, a best selling book, her own jewelry line AND a drag queen who uses her name and look as inspiration!

If that is not living the american dream, I don't know what is!

30 rock

So I totally get that I am 2 years behind but this is the funniest show on tv. And I am one of those people who LIVES for the office. I had it on in the background while I wrote cover letters the other day in a coffee shop and people were starring as I tried to keep from cracking up!

Season 1 is available to watch instantly on netflix and season 2 is nbc.com. Forget work, do yourself a favor and watch it NOW.

Alec Baldwin was actually born to play his role. Kenneth is that special kid from elementary school you have always wanted to see as an adult. The whole cast is amazing and you will find yourself quoting it non-stop. And then there is wonder that is Tina Fey...to say I have a girl crush on her would be insulting for the new obsession I am developing. I actually have so much to say I will have to do a whole post on her alone...